Donnerstag, Juli 13, 2006

un-intelligent? design..

i find this absolutely hilarious (especially since its true that these are basically the responses you get from legit questions haha)

from Uncyclopedia, the definitive source of information on the net
[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Intelligent_design]

[How to respond to] Criticisms from Small-Minded Science-Bigots

Part I

Isn't Intelligent Design just Creationism in disguise?

Answer: No! This is one of the biggest misconceptions about ID and to lump it in with creationism is nothing short of fallacy. Creationism is the notion that life did not evolve by natural means but instead was created by an intelligent being. Intelligent Design on the other hand, states that...fuck, I messed up. Can I try again? No? Well, they can edit this out, can't they? What, they're still taping?

Part II

About this information theory business... Are you saying that the Creator put more information into our genes than he even possessed?

Stated another way: If we are so complex that we must have been engineered by a space alien, is it not true that the Creator would also have been pretty damned complex? Doesn't that mean that the Creator must have been created by another Creator? And what about the Creator's Creator's Creator?

Answer: You're going to go to Hell!

Part III

What makes you think the design was intelligent? Really it's not; just look around you. Flying squirrels? Crabs and the platypus? How about the ocelot, llama or koala? No reasonable person can seriously believe someone intelligent designed these animals!

Richard Dawkins claimed to prove evolution was bunk and Intelligent Design a fact in his book "Mount Forget About It, Pal", wherein he asserts that "given the existence of mosquitoes, tornadoes, infidelity, and war, it should be clear to any television consuming being that the universe was designed by a God who is desperate for entertainment." Nevertheless, flying squirrels, crabs, ocelots, and koalas were scientifically determined to be products of an Unintelligent Design. See New Intelligent Design.

Answer: What? You're wrong! George W. Bush! Dembski! So there!

Part IV

Surely this is more a question of theology rather than of science? If a school in Kansas wants to teach this alternative "theory" shouldn't they be doing so in a Religious Education lesson? Shouldn't science get to stick some stickers on religious texts saying "the information within this publication is not supported by certain facts established from the rigorous scientific confirmation of empirical data"? EH?

Answer: School kids are going to be indoctrinated with something, so it might as well be something that any high-school dropout would agree is science! Sheesh, why work hard to collect rigorous confirmations and empirical data? That would require effort and maybe even good math skills! It's much easier just to get John Q. and Bessy-Ann Public to go the School Board and vote that Intelligent Design is true! Face it: We intelligenter people outnumber you pansy scientists, and we're gonna kick your ass!