figured I might as well write something since I'm sitting here watching the rain and waiting for the buka puasa crowd to get off the freaking road

last week (or was it the week before), I found myself in a position where I had to (yet again) turn down two amazing job offers .. why you might ask? because 7 years ago I signed my life away in blood to a national conglomerate who has, just my luck of course, suddenly decided to turn nasty.

might I point out that this must be the 4th or 5th time I'd gone through the process of interviewing only to hit some bump that keeps me from leaving. can we say numb? fedup, disheartened, what's-the-point-of-all-this-what-a-bloody-waste-of-my-time (btw I never figured out what the deal is with writing phrases-like-this-with-hyphens .. it seems to give the sense to talking really fast but its actually quite a pain to type. or maybe its cuz I'm slightly dyclescix and have ADD). should I just resign to my fate, stop fighting the current, lie here and accept the eventual and inevitable dissolvement of my selfhood into the stereotype of others around me?

and by the way, that's a BAD way to keep people from leaving the company. forcing you to stay by demanding payment of insane amounts of study-loan-dollars in 14 days. or 60 or whatever. the only people would have RM 300k lying around conveniently shouldn't be getting scholarships anyway. of course, what has economic need have to do with it? what they SHOULD be doing, is sitting down and figuring out why the hell people are leaving. There's obviously something wrong somewhere.

I swear, if I ever go back to these companies and ask for a job again, they'd probably laugh in my face. After all, aren't I just the boy who cried wolf?